The beach is amazing. The wonderful smell, the beautiful water, the powder soft sand, the lecherous boyfriend.

Although a very enjoyable place, I got a stomach ache after I found a shop with the most delicious saltwater taffy right next to a stand that had fried squid. (I felt terrible for eating all of the squid in his stand...I didn't know and he didn't say anything, he just kept frying).

( Grimmjow )

( Nii-sama )

Unforgivable! .\ /.

No way! I don't miss that jackass!

( Private // easily hackable )

I spent a nice afternoon with Komamura-san. I also gave Ichigo that idiot his birthday gift. He better treat Usa-chan and Mashiro right...OR ELSE!


( Private to Byakuya-nii-sama )

I wish I could say that I enjoyed the trip. I'm one for the outdoors, survival but between starving half the time and getting half of my limbs blown up by hollow tar I simply did not have time to enjoy myself. Well maybe a few times I really enjoyed myself with Grimmjow. However, since my return to school I've found myself with a sudden loss of appetite and generally uninterested in anything.

( Private )

Although a bit stressed, I've been in a good mood. Okay great mood.

Why? I have a new bunny named Graham. He is white with light brown spots and floppy ears. He looks like graham crackers in milk. He's really special and a sweet rabbit.

Everyone is more than welcomed to come over to my room and spend some time with him. It's lonely without my roommate here.

( Private to Grimmy )

( Private to self )

I'm in a fairly good mood lately...

( Private to self )

But I am furious at Renji! I mean spending a month at a brothel? Come on! I hope it's something better than that! I hope he's backpacking through Europe or climbing a mountain or saving a burning village from a dragon. If it's something lame, I'm going to kick his ass. Hard. I miss him like crazy. Okay, I miss him so much my whole body hurts...especially my heart...

Usa-chan is better, I managed to fix her eye so it wasn't hanging by a string. I think I may give her to Nii-sama as a "get well soon" present...perhaps I shouldn't.

I'm excited about this onsen trip, I could really use the relaxation. The only problem is the sparring. I have a feeling I'll be working a lot. Hopefully I won't have any middle-of-the-night house calls. T.T

Things have been boring but I've worked hard at making some entertainment, pranks, picking on Ikka-chan...I really miss Renji, I hope he comes back before the onsen trip and before he loses all his money to the brothel.

If finished sewing up that rabbit Ichigo and I ripped. I even gave it a dress!



( Private to Urahara )


( Private to self )

I'm glad that Jyuu-nii woke up.
I...don't know what to do.

( Private to self )

I'm all out of faith, this is how I feel
I'm cold and I am shamed lying naked on the floor
Illusion never changed into something real
I'm wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn
You're a little late, I'm already torn

...Things have gotten complicated once again. I can't help feeling very confused...I fell too fast.

( Ultra!Private to self )

And here's to all the boys you'll kiss, and all the scars left on their lips.
And here's to all the boys you'll date, the ones we'll make sure that we hate.

It's been over a week since I updated, I guess I've been busy and distracted. Hopefully I can work things out between Nii-sama and Ukitake. I'd hate it if our families ended up feuding because of me, I feel like I am a part of Ukitake's family and it would tear me apart inside. I've dropped rugby from my training, it was fun but it may be too rough, especially now. I think I'll pick it up when things smooth over...My pointe training is coming along, the teacher says that the tendons and muscles in my feet are strengthening quickly and I may get through training before her other pupils.

( Private to Nanao )



( Private to Self )

Gee! I spent all day yesterday baking in the kitchen because I was in a cheerful mood when I woke up. It was fun and I'm glad that I got a chance to work on my baking skills but the only problem is that I have too much stuff and no one to give it to. So I ended up giving some to the new people that have arrived. I also fed Shunsui a lot, he had a craving for chocolate. I'm still sore even though it was two days ago. I decided to take up some type of sport or activity for the new assignment. I'm thinking ballet or rugby, or both...maybe ice hockey...or boxing...

( Private to self )

I won that banner competition, I should be happy. But it's bothersome to think about that stuff. Ichimaru-san wants to cut me out of his life, I broke Ichigo's heart, Matsumoto probably dislikes me because Ichimaru-san kissed me. I'm sure other people dislike me as well. I don't think I am a good woman. I need to become a better woman.

( Private to Renji )

I woke up Sunday and I had a slight headache. I had a glass of water, aspirin, and took a shower. Once I was cured of the hangover I did what I always do when I get really depressed, emerce myself in work. I cleaned every crack in my room to a spotless shine, organized my closet twice, planned my meals for the next three months, gave myself a pedicure, manicure, and washed my hair as well as a conditioning and a hot oil treatment, an oat mask on my face, watched Titanic and eat a tub of ice cream, then jogged a few times around the campus. Then I ran out of things to do so I snuck into the music room and played on the piano for a while.

I could only play up to "Tell me, would we? could we?" of "The Way We Were" before I had to stop then I organized the music room. I think I need to get involved in something to keep my mind busy.

Tomorrow is Valentine's day although I don't feel well now. I think I'm taking the day off from school, I think it's also best if Hanatarou replaced me as the Nurse's Assistant. But I guess that's up to Unohana-sensei to determine who she wants as an assistant.

( Private to Ichigo )

( Private to Renji )

( Private to Self )

If Ichimaru-kun can put a movie up, so can I! Mine is better anyway!

Ichimaru-san and I got in a fight, after we had it, I lay in bed and thought about things. I don't like this feeling. It's as if someone threw water in my face or pulled a security blanket from over me. I was pretty bummed but then I decided I won't get upset. I have great friends in my life, I've got Ichigo, and I've got strength and resilience! I talked to Renji last night for the first time in a long time and it made me happy. I also started planning for the V-day dance. Gah! I have a feeling that next week I'm going to be really busy, but busy is good. It keeps me distracted. Which is better than thinking too much.

Et des que je l'apercois
Alors je sens en moi
Mon coeur qui bat

Ichigo asked me to the Valentine's Day dance, to which I am excited about. I am going shopping with the girls for our dresses, shoes, and whatever we want. We're also going to get coffee which sounds promising. I also have to pick him out a nice gift. Hopefully he won't forget on White Day to give me one back.

I hope the Academy does something special for V-day. Maybe a dance? I have to get Ichigo, Gin, Renji, and Kaien-dono a gift. So then they'll give me something on White Day! Knowing the boys (besides Gin), they will get me some really good chocolate! Anyway I'm already planning what I'm wearing for V-day despite that there might not be a dance or something. I think Ichigo and Gin should wear what they are wearing here:

I'm going to wear this:


with this in my hair:






Edit: EEK! I just remembered something! It was Nii-sama's birthday yesterday...I AM SO DEAD! I need to go make him a card, it's the thought that counts right? Gee, I hope I'm not in too much trouble...*sobs*

I've finished my assignment! I worked really really hard on it because I want that hentai fox to go down! Yeah! Here it is:

I think I may have upset Ichigo a little tonight, he was trying to talk to me but I was a little distracted. It's just that when he brought up Nii-sama on our date, all these old emotions came again. Things that I thought I buried deep down in my heart but somehow they're still there. I wrote to Nii-sama the first day of term, I still have the letter now and as much as I want to send it I know I shouldn't. He would throw it away or even worse, he would send a reply on the lines of "Don't write here again." I do care for Ichigo, and being in the beginning stages of a relationship is thrilling, every moment we spend together is exciting and new.

So I tried helping out my friend Gin today, or hentai fox which I affectionately nicknamed him. Ichigo admitted his feelings to me and I did to him, we're going on a picnic Sunday.